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  • Writer's pictureJed

Halloween 2023: Thoughts and Musings

As Halloween approaches, I can't help but reflect on the challenging month I've had. It's been a time of deep sorrow and intense physical pain, but I've also found a wellspring of strength within me that I knew existed but was on standby mode. In this blog post, I want to share my recent experiences, not only as a way to heal but to inspire and connect with others who may be going through similar trials.


October was a month I will never forget, sadly due to the two painful losses I endured. In the span of just a few weeks, I lost a dear friend and a family members to cancer. Coping with a single bereavement is difficult enough, but facing two in such a short time was overwhelming.


As cancer claimed the lives of my loved ones, it felt as though a dark cloud had descended over me. Grief has no timetable, and I found myself navigating a rollercoaster of emotions - sadness, anger, guilt, and an acute sense of emptiness. It seemed like I was trapped in a never-ending nightmare, but I knew I had to keep moving forward, even if each step felt like an uphill battle. Be thankful for those around you, and make the most of the moment you are in. Ruminating over trivial things that have already been and gone wont make the past suddenly change. Let those pieces of grit fall away and stop weighing you down. Be magnificent.


Then Life Throws a Curveball: Dealing with a Back Injury

Just when I thought I had reached the limit of my emotional endurance, life threw another curveball. I injured my back, and the excruciating pain made it almost impossible to move. Every step was agony, and the simplest of tasks became monumental challenges. It was a stark reminder that sometimes life doesn't pause to let us catch our breath.


The combination of physical and emotional pain was a double-edged sword, and I had every reason to give in to despair. However, the resilience and determination that I've developed over the years as a soldier kept me going. I couldn't control the events that unfolded, but I could choose how to respond to them. My eldest daughter, Layla, has been very much my Florence Nightingale, helped me stand up many times, got me drinks, medicine food and so on.  Bless her.


It's easy to feel defeated when you're facing the dark abyss of grief and suffering. But as the days passed, I began to see glimmers of hope and strength within myself. Here's what helped me soldier on, and I hope it can inspire others in their own trials:


1. Lean on Loved Ones: I found solace in the support of my friends and family. Their presence, whether in person or over the phone, offered a comforting reminder that I was not alone.

2. Seek Professional Help: Grief counselling and medical treatment for my back injury were essential. It's okay to ask for help when you need it.

3. Self-Compassion: I learned to be gentle with myself and not to rush the grieving process. Healing takes time, and it's okay to feel a range of emotions.

4. Focus on the Present: Rather than dwelling on what I had lost, I tried to appreciate the moments that were still beautiful and meaningful in my life

5. Be realistic for yourself: I accepted early on that I had been knocked for 6 by my friend dying. I knew I couldn't manage what I needed to but I accepted that early on, rather than setting myself a high bar I lowered it almost right down and accepted the basics as a victory.


To those who are also facing difficulties, I want to extend a heartfelt message of encouragement. You are stronger than you realize, and even in the darkest of times, there is a glimmer of hope. It might be Halloween, a day of costumes and free sweeties, but it's also a day when we can embrace the idea of transformation and renewal. May this season bring you light, healing, and the strength to soldier on.


Happy Halloween to you all.

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